How to have a good relationship with yourself

How would you define your relationship with your ‘self’? It sets the tone for every other relationship you have and is arguably the most important in life. 

2020 pulled into question everything we thought and felt about ourselves - it was all about self-worth. I get the feeling that 2021 is going to be about self-love - the greater your love of self, the greater your love of others.

For most people the relationship with self is based on what we learnt from key figures in our life including parents, siblings, family and peers. We were told what was good, what was bad, what pleased and what didn't. We were also told that taking care of ourselves is selfish. You can see where all the confusion comes from?

Self-care, mindfulness, meditation and self-help are not new subjects, however it can be hard to pin down what self-love really means, and what it takes to develop and sustain a good relationship with yourself. For me, it's about reconnecting with your soul self - this is the basis of my book How to be SuccesSoul - because that is the truth of who you are, which as you know is ultimately love. 

I read somewhere that when we get married, we usually vow to provide for the other person in all the important ways. It's a formal, legally binding contract. But do we ever take such a vow with ourselves, to promise to take care of ourselves to the best of our ability, no matter what? It's an eye opener isn't it?

What drives, me and the work I do, is the desire for us all to live the fullest expression of ourselves, to break free from society’s version of who we should be and embrace, celebrate and love every aspect of our soul and human being. I wanted to share a few tip to improving your relationship with self - I hope you find it helpful.

❤️️ Committing to keep moving towards a good relationship with yourself, on the understanding that what this entails will change over the years.

❤️️ Recognising that change is inevitable in every area of your life. Try to embrace this truth without excess fear by learning to be present and trust the flow of life.

❤️️ Knowing that perfectionism and all-or-nothing thinking is the self-love enemy. The more you recognise that we are all ‘flawed’ the less you will criticise yourself.

❤️️ Remembering that falling back on old habits or justifying self-abuse is normal. These times may come so be prepared to understand how you are feeling.

❤️️ Being around people who treat you well and having relationships with others who also seek to have a good relationship with themselves.

Let me know if you have any other suggestions in the comments. xx